use of make believe
by SebonzaMitsuki27
Summary: FaiYuuko. AU. 30 forbidden. Nothing is whole and nothing is broken.
1. amuse

_use of make believe  
_- **amuse** -  
16

—

It's a game that they like to play.

And each time they participate, the stakes raise, higher and higher, until there is no turning back.

A pretty compliment, a meaningful glance, a smile that is not quite there… their words are like jewellery, shiny ornaments forgotten in the dark. Tension builds as she feels his eyes rest on her, her own never leaving him.

His fingers brush her lightly, a touch, a tease; here one moment and gone the next.

Her lips close the distance, yet never reach the destination.

Breaths meet, the only tangible form of heat, fading as they twist and turn away; heartbeats skipping like a shimmer of a harp.

She averts her eyes, he tilts his head, both denying what ought to be.

It's just a game.

But neither of them dare to yield, addicted to curious moments when the other is caught off guard, falling into the other's trap; wondering what should they attempt next time, to make their opponent's pulse race; eyelids lowering, glittering broken dreams; lips curling, gleaming poisonous temptation.

No longer do they use this pastime for amusement.

Now they play to capture each other's hearts.

—

Disclaimer: tsubasa reservoir chronicle is not mine.


	2. want

_use of make believe  
_- **want** -  
28

—

_Think twice._

Eyes flicker back and forth, a question written in them, waiting for the answer to be heard.

He murmurs in her ear, sweet nothings that make her chuckle, though underneath her exterior, she contemplates the answer. She whispers against the corner of his mouth, waiting for his restraint to break, where it's just him and her, her and him, together, alone.

_Do you need this?_

_Perhaps. Perhaps not._

Kisses are like butterflies – everywhere and anywhere – soft like velvet and smooth like silk. Face, hands, neck, arms, collar bone, shoulder bone… pressed far too gently and far too roughly on their skin, each one different, but each one more addictive as each time their mouths graze the other's skin.

They shouldn't be doing this.

But nothing can stop them.

_Do you want this?_

_Always._

—


	3. hidden

_use of make believe  
_- **hidden** -  
13

—

He can see it.

The minute her smile begins to falter, the second her foundations start to crack, slowly crumbling apart like a rock pushed down a mountain: unable to stop until it hits the bottom, shattering into broken, broken fragments of stone.

So he waltzes towards her, with such a charming veneer, complimenting the guests and steering the topic into sophisticated pleasantries. Like water, he flows to her side, the less distance between them the better, full to brim with graceful gestures and pretty parlour tricks.

And they touch.

His hand lightly squeezes hers; reassurance spoke in volumes that can never be said.

It only lasts a second.

Nobody sees, the subtle sign hidden behind their backs; but it's enough.

Then he's gone, his gentle smile and ivory flesh with him, always fleeting, always moving. From time to time, his eyes flick back to her, lasting only a second. Only she sees it, her face mocking a grin with faintly upturned lips.

She was lost, and she is found. It only takes a second to decompose and recompose one's self, because only the outside counts.

Let people think what they want.

—


	4. never

_use of make believe  
_- **never** -  
8

—

"I wasn't lying when I said that you looked lovely in that dress." He whispers in her ear, his lightest touch sending shivers down her spine.

She mocks a smile, twirling as they waltz around together, acutely aware of how perfectly they fit against each other, two shapes that are yin and yang.

In any other world, they were meant to be. In any other place, they would be lovers.

But—

"Sakura-chan!" His eye catches the person who has his heart, dressed in sweet adoration.

The moment ends too soon – his warmth is gone like the fire blown away from a candle, and she is left to turn to ash. She is forgotten, while he is remembered.

Oh, she understands.

She understands it perfectly: he is not for her.

And this was never meant to be.

—


	5. forbidden

_use of make believe  
_- **forbidden** -  
25

—

"Which one would you prefer for me to be?"

Laughter vibrates in his ear, even if he can't hear it, he can _feel_ it; hot like lava, melting his very skin.

Affectionately, he presses a kiss at the nape of her neck, trailing downwards.

"It's just a question."

"I know." She replies, reciprocating, still trying to stifle her laughter, shaking throughout her figure. "That's why it's so amusing."

Even he cannot hide back a snicker, tangling his hand around her glossy hair.

"But indulge me all the same."

She sighs playfully, the corner of her lips twitching upwards, mulling over the choice.

"It's tough. For me to choose between a milkman or a postman, even if you are far, far more… _forbidden_ than either."

—


	6. numb

_use of make believe  
_- **numb** -  
23

—

His touch is a poison, corroding the very fibres of her skin.

Even if it's accidental, the lightest brush, hovering millimetres above her covered flesh, she sinks into his enchantment, and the memories submerge her in something darker than black, more vivid than reality. Even if it's purposeful, she freezes, delicate layers of veil emotion ripple through her, caught in the moment of vulnerability.

And she knows that he feels the same: she is a poison to him as much as he is to her.

Because without him, she is nothing; they are each other's heart.

They bleed into each other so perfectly that they cannot separate, amid the kisses, mirrors break at the sight of such sweet sorrow. They shatter as two become one, unable to tell where one begins and the other ends.

She bites her tongue and refrains from saying anything, aware that she craves his touch, an addictive drug.

But… if she cannot hear him, cannot feel him, cannot see him, cannot smell him—

Then she cannot live.

—


	7. close

_use of make believe  
_- **close** -  
30

—

He holds his breath and holds her tighter.

He'd never admit it to her, as they hide in silence, waiting for the footsteps to fade away into nothing, waiting for the curtains to unveil, but…

"It's okay." She murmurs in his ear, composed even as his heart beats against hers, her voice the only thing that gives him hope. "We're safe. We can come out now."

… he never feels complete unless she is in his arms.

—


	8. black

_use of make believe  
_- **black** -  
5

—

It's something he cannot resist, to make her hair ripple like a curtain call. Sometimes he does it purposely, amusing her, and sometimes he does it unintentionally, annoying her.

Her hair is fathomless, swallowing them into the depths of where it's just them. It binds them together and tears them apart, glossy locks slipping into his very flesh. It twists around their neck, a loose of love, and makes their frame seem delicate, their remaining time seem precious.

And when he closes his eyes, he can feel her luxurious locks, sliding down his shoulders, and he knows that she is pressed against him, a ghostly figure born of memories so strong in his mind that the illusion is almost corporeal.

To be swallowed into the night, stealing away precious moments… is nothing compared to be swallowed within her and her finesse black web.

—


	9. white

_use of make believe  
_- **white** -  
6

—

They are doves made of winter snow, illuminating the sky in shades of amethyst and sapphire.

When spring comes, they melt into the ground, when summer awakens, they bloom into petals that are to be cast away, when autumn dawns, they let the secrets and lies cover them up like red-brown leaves falling to the ground, and when winter returns, they leap into the sky.

There they cannot be followed, there they are free.

This is their winter wonderland: an endless cycle, glowing purple-blue.

—


	10. escape

_use of make believe  
_- **escape** -  
18

—

Their time together is coming to an end.

Fai is certain of it.

It's getting harder and harder to be alone with her, and when he was, then the moments were too short, too fleeting.

A cold breeze passes through him, and he can see her, standing right in front of him, her hair billowing, trying to stifle the impulse that could destroy.

Because it's happened before; where she's seen that look in his eyes, and she couldn't help but crush her mouth against his, kiss searing his lips.

And if anyone saw them, their secret would be discovered.

Then… everything would be over.

So he walks over, engages her in a polite conversation, and lets the falling snow cover their tracks, her hand held in his.

—


	11. afar

_use of make believe  
_- **afar** -  
20

—

As long as it takes, she'll wait.

One second, one week, one year – time and place don't matter, and the distance will never sever the love that she contains for him.

She can blink and see butterflies flutter in the air, can blink and watch cats prowl around her.

Time can pass her by, and she won't care.

Because one day, she'll open her eyes, to reveal him standing before her all along, hands in his pockets, waiting for her join him.

And she'll smirk, tease him gently and he'll rebuke her, sharing an identical grin. Somewhere along the way, the distance lessens until there is none.

He'll wait, as long as it takes.

—


	12. forget

_use of make believe  
_- **forget** -  
11

—

"You look beautiful, Yuuko." He murmurs, his eyes never leaving her face. "Absolutely beautiful."

When she smiles, it's a mixture of trying to hold on and trying to let go at the same time; her mouth parts open, but nothing is said.

Then—it happens too suddenly, too quickly, but it's him and her, pressed against the wall, mouths moving together, and god, he's _missed_ her so much.

This is their last chance. One last chance. To make this right. To make it better.

And she stops, reluctantly forcing herself to let go, let _go_ because this _can't go on._

"Fai." Her voice is quiet, but louder than the beating of his heart. "I'm getting married."

—


	13. bitter

_use of make believe  
_- **bitter** -  
1

—

For him, this is a slow and seamless torture.

His heart ignites as he smoothes back a loose strand of black hair, as he cups her chin and traces her soft lips.

His hand feels so cold compared her flushed skin, hot and heavy and hapless.

(Nothing can happen. She is in love with someone else. Someone who isn't him.)

But, it's in the way she looks at him, glassy eyes smudged with mascara and red-rimmed; that he just can't help but lean forward, kissing—

(This could be wrong, could be wrong, but this should've been right.)

—kissing away her tears that taste salty on the tip of his tongue.

—


	14. memory

_use of make believe  
_- **memory** -  
10

—

It starts with a bouquet of roses resting haphazardly on the door.

The memories rush back so clearly.

A messy greeting, a bashful smile, a cup of coffee that lasts longer than it should… it's like a whirlwind destined for destruction, lipstick-shaped bruises left in the aftermath. It's just a phase, like morning dew left to dry on a spring leaf: by the end of the day, it's gone.

It ends with a bouquet of roses withering on the floor.

—


	15. taste

_use of make believe  
_- **taste** -  
26

—

Every time he kisses her lips, it's like savouring something exotic; a chameleon that is food instead.

Each brush, each nuance, each taste bud is completely different to the one prior.

She is the finest wine that he's ever tried, full of grace and flourishing in her charm.

But if she was a bottle of wine, then surely one day, she would run out of liquid. And he would be the alcoholic, wanting no other flavour but hers.

As it is, Yuuko is not alcohol, yet Fai is still addicted to her.

—


	16. unknown

_use of make believe  
_- **unknown** -  
15

—

This is a state of mind.

A passing phase, a consuming desire that is rekindled by the mere memory of him; this is something that she truly believes.

Love. Hate. Lust. Halcyon.

A pleasure that is crepuscular, when thoughts of him shine so brightly, like that of a moon in the midnight black sky, clearest in the dark.

In daylight, she is confused, wondering why the mere glance, a flick of her eyes, re-establishing a connection, hurts so much, an ache that never goes away unless she can absorb him through her flesh and blood.

State of mind; the night sky; clouds cover the moon.

Yuuko doesn't understand why unless she is standing next to him, her hand in his, that nothing truly feels whole or broken.

—


	17. wait

_use of make believe  
_- **wait** -  
21

—

Fai takes her by surprise, wrapping his arms around her waist and immediately leaving a trail of kisses down her neck.

Her spine tingles as she feels his mouth against her clothes, still delicate, still delicious.

Yuuko laughs and succumbs to his antics, twisting her frame against his, closing what little distance remained between them.

Then she stops, whispering those three words that change everything.

"I love you."

A heart beats.

A heart stops.

A heart beams.

"I love you too."

And those three words change nothing at all, strengthening their love.

—


	18. hate

_use of make believe  
_- **hate** -  
4

—

It's not _his_ name she calls.

Not _his_ name she murmurs in her sleep, clinging to the ghost of _him_.

Not _him_ at all.

And what _he_ hates most about this whole twisted relationship is that he can't bring himself to make this _stop._

—


	19. love

_use of make believe  
_- **love** -  
3

—

How did it happen?

Truthfully, Yuuko cannot remember. It might have been one comment, one glance, one fleeting glance too many, but it happened.

A brush of lips, hands, and hearts: it's a motion set wheel meant to transpire.

Something that fate cannot ignore.

Because if fate was against them, then she fight it, solely for him, and love that she saw so deeply inside of him.

If only that she could mend his broken heart.

—


	20. lonely

_use of make believe  
_- **lonely** -  
24

—

What it is a plethora of things: cigarettes and alcohol, nursing invisible wounds, stories that flow so fluently that they could be mistaken for truths; it's their daily routine that occurs in the dead of the night.

No one gets it.

No one understands.

Their darkest and deepest desire: to play the game that slowly unravels their true nature, theirs to build and break.

They stand in a land of ruined dynasties, neither the victor nor the loser.

And when everything crumbles away, when all they've got is each other, it's not pretty, not happy, and they both know that this game is suffocating them.

Yet they play it, under the pretences of drunken behaviour, because they just can't change, emotions be damned.

—


	21. fear

_use of make believe  
_- **fear** -  
17

—

He is the master of illusion, able to create a mirage with a mere whistle and make dreams come true with inscriptions written in the air.

He is powerful and talented, sweeping grace, ethereal unto himself.

And yet, the second he sees her, blue meeting amethyst, celadon skies meshing into lilac dusk, he acquaints with fear.

For he is afraid what he feels for the witch is real.

—


	22. sweet

_use of make believe  
_- **sweet** -  
2

—

The thing that Yuuko loves most about Fai is that he is a chef, and his face is usually covered in whipped cream, flour, marzipan, and other such confectionaries of the like.

It's yummy.

More often than not, Yuuko gives into her temptation of licking the remnants of food off his face, chuckling as she does so.

More often that not, Fai reciprocates the action, always murmuring that she tastes far more delicious than any product he's ever made.

—


	23. need

_use of make believe  
_- **need** -  
29

—

Desperation attacks like an explosion of fireworks; spreading into vicious kisses, scraping teeth and scarring touches.

It's a last attempt to feel human.

It's a last attempt to feel emotions.

It's a last attempt to feel _something._

Sweat and lust and torment cling to the web of flesh that wills to come undone.

_Are you sure?_

Carnal gasps, and carnal moans, prisoners of their minds, the both of them need this, hissing words through clenched teeth.

_Yes._

—


	24. watch

_use of make believe  
_- **watch** -  
19

—

Fai doesn't believe in fairy tales.

He's not a knight in shining armour. She's not a damsel in distress.

But when he looks at her, watching from afar, a forgotten face, in a crowd, he thinks, as he gazes at the television, watching her smile and talk to other people, that he could believe in them, and that she could come from fairy tales that he does not believe in.

She's not a stock character, the wicked witch, the evil stepmother, the sleeping heroine…

Yuuko is a fairy tale of her own, breaking hearts as the story unfolds; the looking glass shattering with every perfectly fake smirk.

—


	25. remember

_use of make believe  
_- **remember** -  
12

—

She doesn't know about him but his name (and she repeats like a mantra) and it's like casting a spell, light and flamboyant.

There's a box of photos, a bag of ocean-foam-white sand, scribbles of miscellaneous messages, notes that add up to nothing: he's still a mystery man even if she's memorized the cracks and crevices of his smooth body, basking under the florid sun.

A two week holiday, a summer of love, no strings attached. A chink of glasses, a mellifluous voice, a laughter, a suitcase with sand trailing behind her.

There and then, she walked away, stiletto heels clacking on the floorboards.

Only a memory, only a two week vacation, only a name – that's all she needs to reminisce about him and remember.

—


	26. touch

_use of make believe  
_- **touch** -  
27

—

He tries to escape it; fight the impulse that yearns to be fulfilled every time contact occurs.

Fingers brush, feet bump; harmless little gestures that mean nothing at all.

But passions courses through his veins, and each time it surges through his skin, he finds it harder and harder to quell the emotion.

It's slow, it's painful, it's a line that must never be crossed, but it's driving him insane, a hurricane of disaster – but sooner or later, he won't be able to resist these desires any longer. And then—

—skin and lips, teeth and hands, heart and soul—

Then… what would happen?

—


	27. happy

_use of make believe  
_- **happy** -  
22

—

Black hair submerges itself water, laughter bursting from her mouth, lips quirked in that familiar manner; half-smile, half-smirk.

It's impossible to tell when ebony becomes part of brilliant gold, but they mingle, as her cheeks rest on his. There's no space between them, close as they can possibly be, covered in soap suds.

His hands slide down her legs, almost as if he is treating her like a violin; her other foot flicks up, and splays onto his nose, soaking her as well.

Ivory ripples into a chuckle, and Yuuko finds herself joining in, unable to hold the part of a frog hiding in a lily pad any longer.

"Yuuko-san." Fai fails to smother his grin, lips twitching. "You're such a tease."

"The same could be applied to you." She twists and turns, causing friction between them. "Fai-san."

Bubble baths have never been this much fun.

—


	28. past

_use of make believe  
_- **past** -  
9

—

Move on.

Twist blades of grass, tear ever petal that ever made a single flower beautiful (like his words made of silk), and break every creature that saw the grace to live.

She feels like a butterfly whose wings have been ripped off, and yet she's alive (and yet he's dead), unable to forget (unable to remember).

Breathing only gets harder, but still, she breathes (feels like cut glass and shredded grass).

Move on.

It's not so easy to do when she's holding onto someone that doesn't exist any more.

—


	29. dark

_use of make believe  
_- **dark** -  
14

—

Deep and overpowering, there magician knows that he can never be alone with Yuuko. Something rages within him, a feral beast, always hungering for her.

It consumes him into the dead of the night, her face the only thing he sees in his dreams, always lovely, no matter what expression is one her face; a doll made to be his.

His to kiss, his to control, his to play and tear asunder; because the magician knows that she will be a vision of beauty, even in grief, even in ruin; her tears will only serve to enhance.

Thoughts like these revolve around her, and the magician tries to stay out of reach, withering like smoke, these thoughts collecting in his room.

Because once he has her, he'll never let go.

—


	30. forever

_use of make believe  
_- **forever** -  
7

—

Tangled in the bed sheets, her head resting on his chest, Yuuko listens to the heartbeat of Fai.

It matches hers perfectly.

"You know, I bet we could stay like this, forever."

"Oh yes?" Catlike, her smile widens, and she watches him with feline interest.

"Oh yes." Leaning in, his warmth breath is close enough to be felt. "Because we are simply meant to be."

—

**a/n.** _Thank you very much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did._


End file.
